Second Life
by n00dl3gal
Summary: Fifth story in the Second Series. Pit and Viridi start a new chapter in their relationship... something so major, so epic, so mind- boggling it may just convert even the most hardcore PitxPalutena shipper to Piridi. What is this event? Read and find out... SPOILERS. Duh.
1. Chapter 1: Soda Pop

My God... it's the fifth story in the Second Series... *sniffles* They grow up so fast!

I bet you're wondering just what I have in store for Piridi. Well, you'll see. You'll all see! *laughs maniacally*

Anyway, all the usual junk: Thanks to Konpeki Rei for beta reading this, I don't own KI, bowties are cool.

* * *

Chapter 1

Soda Pop

Seventy- five. That's the number that's running through my mind.

Seventy- five.

As in seventy- five years.

The number of years I've been dating Viridi.

… I know that seems like a lot to you humans, but remember, Viridi and I are pretty much immortal. Seventy- five years is about nine in your terms.

But being immortal doesn't mean you don't age. Oh, no. Since the last time I shared a story (in which I told Viridi I loved her, and she said she loved me- the greatest moment of my life), half a century has passed us by. A full fifty years.

I'll let you soak that in. OK, you done? Good.

Needless to say, both my girlfriend and I have changed in appearance. I can only speak for myself, but I guess the best comparison to my "age" is a 19- year- old human, maybe 20 if the dude is small. My wings are fuller, more aerodynamic, and still flightless. Hair's still shaggy, but more trimmed than it was a while ago. My nose is... kinda big. And my abs- can you say "six pack?" You can? Good job, boys and girls! Now, can you say "Pit's bringing sexy back to Skyworld?" Like that pop singer, Justin Woodpond?

Speaking of Skyworld, today I'm waiting at the top of a hill on one of the holy place's many islands. Vri is supposed to come over for a picnic. Even after so long, I'm still excited to see her again.

I hear a familiar pop behind me, and I turn to find a blond teenager- say, about 18 years old?- smiling at me. Her ponytail goes just beyond her shoulder blades, her bright green eyes sparkle in the light, her chest is... nice, to say the least, and her very existence makes me feel like I could take on a million Monoeyes.

"You like the new look?" she asks, gesturing to her body. I grab her shoulders.

"Of course I do. You're beautiful, no matter what you look like. But why you'd do this?"

She strokes my wings. "Well, aside from the fact you grew some more-"

"Palutena says I'm not going to be getting any bigger!" I interject.

"- you do know what today is, right?" Viridi finishes.

I pull her in even closer. "Happy anniversary, Vri. I love you."

"I love you too, Pitty," she whispers, then presses her lips against mine.

I kiss her back with every emotion I've been wanting to convey to her for so long. I place my hands on her lower back, and she hops up into my arms, wrapping her legs around my waist. Unfortunately, I'm still a bit of a klutz, so the sudden change in my center of gravity causes me to fall down onto the grass.

Then physics kick in and we roll to the bottom of the hill.

Viridi, however, isn't angry. Instead she's laughing and screaming in glee. The chuckle is infectious, and I join in. We keep guffawing even after we stop, with her lying on top of me. I kiss her and we smooch for what feels like forever. And then I realize something.

I want to spend the rest of my life with this goddess.

Now, that's not much of a problem. I could easily move into Viridi's temple and continue to date her for all of eternity. But I want something more. Something more permanent. Something definitive.

I recalled an event that happened about twenty years ago...

. . .

Certain souls that are particularly close to the gods are granted the right to, instead of going to the Underworld, be escorted to a more heavenly afterlife.

One of these souls was an old friend. And his reaction to seeing me was in par with his character.

"Angel face? Well, I guess I am kicking the bucket. Not surprised you showed up."

I coughed. "Ahem. Magnus, due to your services in fighting the Underworld, Palutena, the Goddess of Light, wishes to make you-"

He sighed. "I'm not becoming an angel. Not if it means becoming like you. I do, however, want a favor."

I was shaken for a second, as no human before has ever turned down the chance to be an angel. I motion for him to continue. "What do you desire?" I asked, keeping with the formal script. I hated it.

"Drop the act, kid. I want you to watch my wife," he ordered.

"Um... wife?"

"Gaol. I married her," he explained.

"'Married?'" I was still really confused.

I later asked Lady Palutena what being married meant. Apparently it's a human custom where a man and a woman that love each other exchange words and rings and commit their lives to each other. I filed this information in the back of my mind, never thinking I would need to use it.

. . .

But now, kissing my girlfriend of so many years...

My gods.

I want to marry Viridi.

_Quick__, __Pit__, __how __do __you __ask __her__? __There__'__s __this __method __for __it__... __a __proposal__! __OK__, __gotta __be __subtle__, __but __classy__. __Be __smooth__._

I peel myself off of her lips. She's disappointed, but she senses that I want to talk, so she doesn't object. "So... how about this weather we're having?" I chuckle. I mentally facepalm myself.

_Oh __yeah__. __That__'__s __smooth __as __heck__._

Viridi eyeballs me carefully. "You want something, don't you." It's a statement, not a question.

I swallow. "How did you know?"

She nuzzles her nose against mine. "You pick up on a lot of things when you date a guy for so long," she whispers, drawing circles with her finger on my chest.

"About that..." I start, then facepalm internally again. _Me __and __my __big __mouth__. __Why __did __you __have __to __keep __growing __while __I __did__?_

Her brow furrows. "If you are even _contemplating_ the notion of breaking up with me on our anniversary, then you will be returning to Palutena in a body bag."

I raise my hands defensively. "Th- that's not what I meant at all!I don't wanna break up with you anytime soon! Just the opposite, in fact!" I retaliate.

The goddess closes her eyes, breaths in deep, then opens them again. "And what does that mean, exactly? You have two minutes. Make 'em count," she warns.

"Um, well, there's this human custom-"

"Why do you think I would want to do something _human_?" she interrupts with disgust.

"-where two people that like each other-"

"I know the facts of life, genius."

"-perform this ritual called a 'wedding-'"

"One minu... what?"

"-and spend the rest of their lives together and that's what I want to do with you!" I finish in one breath.

Viridi stares at me, eyes boring holes in my skull. She's blushing and mouthing out what I just said. I pant, suddenly exhausted from my speech. And the fact she's still straddling me and beginning to crush my lungs.

Eventually she actually voices her thoughts. "Pitty... what did you ask me?"

I frown. "I asked you to have a wedding with me, duh." I roll my eyes. _She__'__s __really __starting __to __rub __off __on __me__._

"So you're asking me to _marry_ you, is what you're saying," she says.

"In a Nutski shell, yes, basically," I answer. "So? What about it?"

She sits up, pushing herself off my chest. I get up as well. She looks at the grass, fingering it, not speaking. After a moment, I grab her hand off the ground and use my other arm to hold her cheek, facing her to myself. "What about it, Vri?"

Her eyes close, stay shut for a while, then snap open again. "Pit... Gods don't usually get along. We have power struggles far too often. And in the rare cases where two heavenly beings do like one another, all that happens is that the lower ranking one swears allegiance to the other. In all honesty, I'm the first deity in a long time to actually date and be in a relationship with someone. And you're not even a god," she explains.

I stroke her shoulders. "So? Does that matter to you?"

She sighs, "I suppose what custom dictates is that you become a soldier in my Forces of Nature, but you're already sworn to Palutena. I don't want to take you from her- she's like your mother, right?"

I nod. "Yeah. And, please don't take this the wrong way, Viridi, but I do love her. Not in the same way as you, of course," I add. She laughs.

"I know. But Pit... marriage... it's never been done."

I pound my fists against the earth. "Damnit, Viridi, I don't CARE if it's never been done! I just want to know that I'm not going to lose you!"

She blinks at me, once, twice, three times, confusion all over her face. "Wh- what?"

I place my forehead on top of hers. My breath causes her bangs to flutter. "Vri, I've never told anybody this before, not even Dark Pit knows this. So listen carefully, OK?" I feel her nod beneath me. "Before the Chaos Kin took control of Lady Palutena, I had alway thought that if she were to ever abandon me, I would die. But then she went crazy evil, and you protected me. And years later I realized that I survived being away from Palutena, but if you were to ever leave me... that would be what would kill me. Not having you. I _need_ you, Viridi, and from my understanding marriage will allow me to hold onto you forever."

Something wet falls into my lap. For a minute I think it's started to rain, but when I don't feel anything on my back, I figure out it's the Goddess of Nature's tears. I wrap my wings around her, shielding her in my warm embrace.

"Do... do you really feel that way?" she asks softly. I answer the affirmative. "Pit... remember when Palutena locked us up together in that room? I asked you what your scariest moment was. Well, I never gave you my answer. And the truth is that seeing your broken body after saving Dark Pit... with your wings burnt to the bone... that's when I was the most afraid. I was so nervous you weren't going to make it. I didn't understand why I felt that way until years later, when we started dating, but even now, that's what I fear the most. That you'll be stupid and get hurt and nobody will be around to save you," she admits.

Patting her legs, I dryly comment, "Thanks for the all the confidence you put into my intelligence." She laughs, but just for a second. "But seriously, that's what you're most afraid of?"

She blushes the same shade of red as Link's Goron Tunic. "I guess you're right. I... I need you, too."

I smile. _For __once__, __she __admits __I__'__m __right__. __File __and __save__._

The not- so- little- anymore goddess still seems hesitant though. "Pit, just understand something. Marriage isn't something you run into blindly. I've seen humans that get married on a whim- similar to the whim you just had- and the result is usually catastrophic. It's a major commitment- not just to me, but to yourself. You have to remain loyal to me no matter what. Are you positive you can do that?" she inquires.

_She __knows __me __too __well__: __she __knew __my __plans __to __marry __her __just __popped __into __my __head__. _I seize her face in both of my palms. "Of course I am. I mean, I already do all of that anyway. Why not make it official?" I joke.

She gives me her beautiful giggle, one that still sends shivers down my spine from pure joy. It's the most wonderful sound in the world- no, the solar system- no, the galaxy- no, the _universe__._

"So? Are we... what's the word?"

"Engaged?" Viridi supplies. I wave my head up and down at super speed. "Um... no, not yet. It's customary for the guy to propose on one knee."

"Oh... OK," I say, pulling my wings off of her and back behind my body. I get down in a kneeling position. I gulp. "Viridi, Goddess of Nature, will you marry me?"

She breaks into the biggest grin I've ever seen in my life, even bigger than the ones I used to give over floor ice cream. "I accept your proposal, Pit, angel and Captain of Palutena's Guard," she laughs. Then she swoops down and kisses me. I kiss her back, exploring her mouth for what feels like the first time (even though it's more likely the seven hundredth), placing my hands in previously untouched areas. Nowhere personal, I promise... but I will admit that when my fingers grazed across her, ahem, bottom, she didn't object like she had the few times I (accidentally, I swear!) done so previously . Actually, she pushes my hand back down when I lift it up on instinct. And as Viridi slips her hands on my toga, I don't think twice about lifting it slightly so she can touch my bare chest, smiling at the touch of her skin on mine. It's like a door opened up, letting us through to all the things we wanted to do, but were too afraid to attempt. But now that we're engaged, almost everything goes. _Almost__._

Somewhere far away I hear crying. _Why __would __anybody __be __crying __on __such __an __hamzing __day__?_

And then I realize. It's not crying, it's cheering. From a bunch of gamers and writers.

_Just __the __shippers__._

End Chapter 1

* * *

Edward: So here I am, down on one automail knee...

Me: Shut it Elric! I already told your brother we've postponed your story! *whacks over the head with Sonic Screwdriver* Although I will admit that is the cutest proposal ever, Shorty...

Ed: *blood spurting from head, muffled by ground* WHO'RE YOU CALLING SHORT?

Me: Wait, get it together, Noodle... OH MY GOD A WEDDING! AWWWWWWWWW! *fangirl squees, then gasps* I have to register their china pattern!

Konpeki Rei: Finally, they make it official. *to audience* I have no clue why I'm here, but please review and look at my stuff as well. Yes, it's a shameless plug, but get over it.


	2. Chapter 2: Cupid Shuffle

OK, OK, I can explain why this took so long! One, I was uninspired for a long time. Secondly, my beta reader, Konpeki Rei, was... on vacation? Which means that this chapter was betaed by not just him, but also my special guest reader, Muttnfeathers, aka my mom! (Thanks, Mommy. I love you!) And finally, school started for me today.

Yippee. But, on the bright side, I have made a Kid Icarus AMV! It's called "Kid Icarus: Fly Away Now" and is available for viewing on the YouTubes.

Well, special challenge for this chapter: try to name all the references I make!

* * *

Chapter 2

Cupid Shuffle

"You're crazy."

I crinkle my face in confusion. "How exactly am I crazy?"

Dark Pit sighs then yells, "Idiot! Don't throw away your bachelorhood! You're making a huge mistake!"

"Now, now, Dark Pit, I'm sure regular Pit knows what he's doing. Besides, you're one to talk, what with you having a relationship and all," Palutena contributes.

I stare at my clone with wide eyes. "Wait, _you__'__re _dating someone? Why didn't you tell me?"

"I have a life outside of you, replica," he scowls back. _Hey __dude__, __YOU__'__RE __the __replica__, __remember__? _

"Well, who is it?" I ask eagerly.

"That's on a need-to-know basis, and you don't need to know."

"Ignore him, Pit," Palutena cuts in. "I'm proud for the two of you."

I smile. "Thanks, Lady Palutena."

"I'd be happy to officiate the ceremony, if you'd like," she tells me.

"That would be great! Thanks! And hey... Dark Pit..."

"What?" he snapped back angrily.

"Could you be... my best man?" I mumble.

He gives me a scowl. "Like hell I will."

"Like hell you are," Palutena orders the boy. "You do this, and you won't have to train the Centurions for a whole year."

He thinks it over. "Nah. Not worth it."

"Extended use of the best hot spring," she offers.

"Tempting, but I'll have to pass."

She leans over so close their noses are nearly touching. "Do it, or you're on stable duty for Phos and Lux for the next century."

"All right, all right, I'll do it," he gives up, forcing her away. "But I am not wearing a tux."

. . .

The big problem in planning a wedding is not any of the things one would usually suspect as being too difficult. Deciding on a venue was simple enough- Skyworld. Choosing a dress wasn't too hard, either, when all your fiancee has to do is snap her fingers and bam, she's wearing a gorgeous ball gown. The wedding party? Easy. Once I got my side of the deal done, it took only Vri's order to get Arlon and Phosphora in on the shindig. And everything else- the cake (chocolate, duh), reception (DANCE PARTY!), honeymoon (Poseidon is letting us stay at the world's best beach, just the two of us, for a week; he says it's his wedding gift)- child's play. No, the real issue was trying to convince the future groom, who had a very unfortunate and horrible incident involving a ring earlier in his life, that it is required to exchange said jewelry at the ceremony.

If anyone reading this is even so much as _thinking_about the song "Single Ladies" right now...

In the end, I managed to persuade Viridi the aforementioned items were not needed. It wasn't easy, let me tell you. But hey, no more painful memories of the Chaos Kin, so well worth the effort.

And now I'm stuck waiting out in the hallway, because apparently grooms (well, all of mankind, actually) aren't supposed to barge in on their wives-to-be while they're getting dressed.

I hear a sigh and a foot tapping behind me. I spin, only to come face-to-face with my doppleganger.

"C'mon, Romeo, you're needed at the altar," he groans, dragging me by the ear.

I weasel out of his grip and scowl. "Careful with the merchandise! I don't think the Goddess of Nature will exactly like it if her husband looks like he just came out of a war zone."

"Hasn't seemed to bother her before," he retorts. We walk out of the front doors.

I can't help but gape, just a little. The Centurions did a bang- up job: tiny lights are strone about the place, giving an already heavenly place an even more unearthly feel. But in a good way. Seats are placed in rows, with a corridor down the middle, marked by a walkway of petals both common and unnameable. Palutena is hanging up some lanterns in the trees near the dance floor. She turns around when she hears us coming.

"You know, it's traditional for the bride to wear white, not the groom," she laughs.

I look at my outfit and scowl. "Yeah, well, that's his job," I retort, gesturing at my twin.

"I'm only teasing you, Pit. You look very handsome," she replies with a smile.

Yes, I'm still wearing my trademark white toga. But it's a special one- there's all these fancy stitches and borders and junk. And I suppose it's not white, it's cream, but seriously, what are we, on an episode of _What __Not __To __Wear_?

"All you need is one final touch," she says, reaching into a bag beside her. She pulls out a long piece of fabric, which she then proceeds to tie around my neck. "Ta da!"

I look down at it. "What the heck?"

"It's a bow tie. Bow ties are cool."

"Uh-huh."

"Look, as much as I hate to interrupt your game of dress- up, we're kinda on a schedule here," Dark Pit groans from the side. "Those morons you invited have shown up."

It's true, guests are mingling about and finding their chairs. I bite my lip.

"Why did we invite so many? And just who are some of the folks?" I ask the Goddess of Light.

"Oh, just some of the other deities of the world. Now come, it's almost time for us to start," she answers, pushing me up towards the end of the aisle.

I look out into the crowd. Poseidon, Dyntos, Cragalanche, Marth...

...wait, Marth?

Suddenly, the music swells and everyone's attention is on the opposite end of the tent. I sigh in relief. So much pressure...

Dark Pit speaks and jolts me out of my repose. "Damn, she's beautiful..."

I look to what's he's infatuated with, fully expecting to see Viridi, but instead the only girl in sight is Phosphora.

No way... Dark Pit and...

_DARK __PIT __IS __DATING __PHOSPHORA__?_

Um, OK, focus Pit. You can deal with this later. Right now there's something more important happening. Like the reason behind everybody standing up.

And then I see it.

"No, Dark Pit, _she__'__s _beautiful," I whisper.

Of course she is. Viridi is beautiful no matter what she's wearing or doing. But walking down the aisle in that pink- and- green frock, with her mid- length blonde ponytail swishing back and forth, she looks like something out of a fairy tale. Cuz she is. She's my fairy tale princess.

...I hope she never reads that.

She reaches the end of the runway and slips her arm out of Arlon's. She smiles at the ground and faces me.

"Ahem. Ladies and gentlemen, gods and goddesses, we are gathered here today..." Palutena drones on. I don't hear a word. I'm looking at the veil covering my girl's face. I lift it up and over her head, revealing her sparkling hazel eyes. I take her hands in mine.

"Hey, don't worry. You look amazing. Just... just look at me, can you do that?" I mutter to her softly. She complies. "I know it's hard, with all these people, but ignore them. It's about us right now. Focus on us. Please, Vri."

"Pitty..."

Palutena still blabbing on about how love is patient and some such stupidity. I only hear the things coming out of the Goddess of Nature's mouth.

"Are you sure?"

"Huh?"

"Are you sure you want to do this? Are you prepared to spend every second of your life caring about me? Do you want to be my husband?" she whispers.

I squeeze her palms comfortingly. "Of course I am. I already care for you in every heartbeat, and gosh does that sound cheesey. But it's true. I do want to be your husband. I do," I say, speaking the last part loud enough so everyone can hear it.

Viridi grins. "Then I do too!" She throws her arms around my neck and we kiss, long and hard. Eventually we pull away, panting.

"Well I am glad you two love one another so much," Palutena says after a pause, "could you please wait until I read the vows?"

. . .

"Why exactly did you invite him again?" I ask Palutena, taking a sip of my punch.

"Who?"

"That guy," I supply, pointing towards a red- hatted portly gentlemen.

"Oh yeah, him. For helping us save Skyworld from Subspace, remember?"

"Right..."

"HELLO LADIES! WHO'S READY TO GET IT ON WITH THE PYRRHON?"

I spin away from the buffet to come face-to-face with the "Sun God." "Pit! Good job on landing this hottie! And believe me-" he leans down next to my ear, nearly singeing my hair in the process- "I know hot."

I brush away some ash. "Um, Pyrrhon, how exactly are you here? Why aren't you with the Aurum?"

"Can't keep a GREAT man down, kid! Now excuse me," he says coyly, "but I do believe that old Aphrodite is giving me her 'come hither' look." He swaggers off, and I sigh in relief.

Taking another drink, I scan all of the guests. Poseidon is sitting underneath a tree with a middle- aged dude wearing a leopard- print shirt. They have their arms around one another and I think they're singing drunken sea shanties. Another guy is scanning Cragalanche with what appears to be a screwdriver. Dyntos is explaining something to Lady Palutena, who nods and laughs. I feel a tap on my shoulder. I look towards the newcomer and receive a faceful of fist.

"And that's saying 'icius' all the time," says a brunette boy, shaking his Power Glove-d hand. He disappears after that.

"What was that all about?" I wonder aloud, but I snap back to reality when I hear my name being called.

"What is it?"

"The cake! We need to cut it!"

"OUT OF MY WAY!" I yell, dashing to the dessert. Viridi holds out the knife, and I wrap my hand around hers. Together, we lower it into the chocolate confection.

"First slice goes to the bride," I offer, handing her the food.

"Oh Pit, you're such a gentlemen," she giggles. Then she smashes the cake in my face. After my initial shock, I respond by wiping it off of my mug and rubbing it on hers. Eventually, this dissolves into both of us flicking cake bits at each other.

"I love you," I tell her as our food fight continues.

"I love you, too," she answers, pecking me on the nose. "Now c'mon, let's dance!" I clean up some and take my spot on the dance floor. Vri places her hands on my waist, and I grab her shoulders. A slow song begins to play, and we move back and forth in time to the music.

"It's like a mishmash of all the best moments of our relationship," I suggest, offering my thoughts on what's been happening so far.

"Let's hope I don't get sick next," she jokes, leaning her head in the crook of my shoulder (which, somehow, is exactly at her height and the perfect size, too).

We keep dancing, holding each other close, long after the melody ends and the beat picks up. Looking at the dance floor, I see Phosphora and Dark Pit grooving somewhat near one another. Arlon is showing off his fancy footwork, causing many a lady to gather around him in awe (and for Pyrrhon to sulk). Dyntos twirls about with Palutena, until his back goes out and he has to sit down.

"Best party EVER!" someone calls, and for the quickest of seconds I believe I see something pink out of the corner of my eye.

"Pit?"

"Yeah, Viridi?" I stare at her with my cerulean eyes. Her hazelnut orbs glisten with hope and compassion.

"Can we just keep doing this? Forever?" she asks expectantly.

I kiss the top of her head. "Yes, we can. Forever."

End Chapter 2

* * *

Wow, a lot of cameos... the list will be revealed in the Author's Notes for the next chapter.

Forgot to mention: I don't own KI or any of the other things I allude to. I only own a 3DS with a Pikachu sticker on it.


	3. Chapter 3: Spice!

Four notes this time! Number 1: thanks once again to mnfeathers (aka my mom) for betaing this while Konpeki Rei is on leave doing whatever it is he's doing. Secondly: the references I made in the last chapter are to Doctor Who, Fire Emblem, Super Smash Bros. Brawl, Captain N, Percy Jackson and the Olympians, and (no one got this one, I'm surprised!) My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic. (The pink thing that called the reception the "best party ever" was Pinkie Pie, duh!) Third, special shout- outs to SwiMMasteR7 for some of the ideas for Viridi and Pit's wedding gifts and StupidComputer for inserting me in her story "Drabbles." Your help and support means so much to me.*sniff* I- I love you, guys.

And finally, we have a huge disclaimer for this chapter: besides the usual "I-don't-own-Kid-Icarus" stuff, this chapter contains adult and sexual themes. Seriously, it's nothing too awful for a T rated fic, but it just made it past the Mom Censor. So younger readers, IGNORE THIS CHAPTER. DO NOT CORRUPT YOUR INNOCENT MINDS LIKE I DID WHEN I WAS YOUR AGE. YOU WILL REGRET IT LATER ON.

On that note, let's dive right in!

* * *

Chapter 3

Spice!

"What is this?" I ask, waving the device back and forth.

"I'm... not sure," Viridi answers. "It's definitely not a baby blanket though, I can tell you that."

I choke on my smoothie. "Baby blanket? Phosphora was going to get us a _baby __blanket _as our wedding gift?"

"Yeah, until I explained to her for the umpteenth time that _gods __can__'__t __reproduce__!_" she yells. "But seriously, I have no clue what that thing is or does. Looks kinda annoying, though. Have you tried pressing the button?"

I nod. "All it did was vibrate," I answer, demonstrating for her. The machine buzzes in my palm.

"Eh, recycle it. Now let's see... we got those matching laurel crowns from Palutena, a Phyrron action figure, Light Arrows from Zelda, Phosphora's... whatever it is, and a new staff from Dark Pit," she lists.

"What about Arlon?" I remind my wife (and man, does it feel good to call her that!).

"Oh yeah... um, he gave me a week of service without pay, so that's good. And I don't think we got anything from Dyntos. Strange."

"Don't forget about this place!" I scream, waving my arms around, gesturing at the lapping waves.

"Of course not, Pitty. Poseidon gave us this place so we can have our honeymoon in peace. Gotta say I love it here. It hasn't been disturbed by humans, so it's still pristine... just gorgeous," she sighs.

"Nah, I can think of something even more gorgeous," I chuckle. Vri gives me a blank look.

"Like wha- oooohh. Pit," she growls, "you know how I hate that romantic junk."

I frown. "C'mon, just this once. We just got married, for Pete's sake. Live a little."

She bursts out laughing, saying, "Gah, you know me too well... all right, then I see something hotter than the sun."

"Why thank you," I replied smugly, ruffling my wings.

She smacks me, but keeps giggling, until taking a sip of her beverage. "Hey, what flavor smoothie did you get again?" I inquire.

"Coconut, it's really delicious," she responds, slurping up some loudly to emphasize her point. "Why, wanna taste some?"

"Yeah, that would be great! I mean, this strawberry is good, but it's nothing new. I've never had coconut before."

"OK," she tells me. Viridi lifts her glass to her lips but doesn't swallow. Instead, she slathers the drink all across her lips. Her intent is clear, but she still feels the need to ask me if I'm ready to try it. I roll my eyes, but I give in. I mean, how can I refuse something like that?

. . .

"I'm... going... to... die..." Viridi moans. She picks my wing up off of the burning sand and fans herself with it. Who's idea was it to work on our tans- even though we really don't want to be as orange as Snooki- anyway?

"Me... too..." I add. Honestly, it's torture, this heat. "Race... you... to the... ocean?"

"Eat my... dust... Pitty!" She yells the last part, dashing off at a speed that totally contradicts her previous behavior of nearly passing away due to heat stroke. I sprint only seconds after her and easily take the lead. She screams and charges after me, only to crash into my back and throw both of us butt-first into sand. I get back up, brush myself off, and take her hand, leading her to some tide pools.

She gasps. "This is amazing," she whispers. "Look at all the different species."

I point to something a little ways off. "Isn't that a coral reef?"

Her eyes light up in pure bliss. "Let's get closer!" Together, we step gingerly into the habitat, careful not to disturb the wildlife too much.

Salt water splashes against my legs, chilling my burning muscles. I sigh in relief. Tropical fish dart around my toes, investigating the crevices on my feet, pecking at the sand beneath my nails to see if it's edible. Their colors blend into a kaleidoscope rainbow that nearly blinds me with its brilliance. Coral of all hues dots the sea floor for miles. I can see why Viridi loves this place so much. It truly is an area where the beauty and wonder of nature is evident and pure.

"Do you want to go deeper?"

"Huh?"

"I asked you if you wanted to go deeper. You know, farther out," she repeats.

I blush. "Well, the thing is... I can't swim that well," I admit.

Viridi frowns. "Really?"

I nod, ashamed of my weakness. "It's just that Palutena wasn't sure if my wings would be OK if they got wet. So yeah, I can swim, but I've never been in over my head," I explain.

She bites her lip. "That is a problem... but what if we don't go that far? Just, like, shoulder- deep?"

I think it over. "As long as you promise me to save me if I drown," I say.

"Deal!" is her chuckled reply. "But first.. SPLASH FIGHT!" A wave of liquid smashes into my face.

"Oh it's on!" I chortle, kicking a huge spatter into her backside as she attempts to get out of range. Her retaliation is a series of rapid- fire plashes to the chest, which actually sting a lot. Fortunately I'm well prepared to attack and quickly respond by dunking her. She gasps and breaches.

"PIT YOU BASTA-" and I push her down again, but this time I dive under too. I find her face underwater and place my hands on it, kissing what I hope is her lips. We surface, me still making out with...

"BLECH! STARFISH!" I spit the creature off of my mouth, much to my wife's amusement. I give in to the giggles, too. It's hard not to, especially at moments like this- the moments that remind me that even though we're married, even though we're technically "adults," Viridi and I are still kids. We have fun just doing silly things like water fights and exploring tide pools together more than anything sexy (but don't think that doesn't mean I don't love kissing her; on the contrary, it's probably my second-favorite pastime behind flying). Maybe one day we'll do something... grown-up. But the only reason we got married-and we both agree on this-was less because we wanted to take our relationship further and more to just cement the fact we love each other and want to be together for as long as possible. And you know what?

I'm OK with that.

The problem is, however, that sometimes, my body isn't.

. . .

"Well, at least it's big..." Viridi begins.

"Hey! Are you saying you don't want to sleep with me?"

She sighs. "No, Pitty, but no offense, you snore. Loudly."

I cross my arms. "And you kick!" I counter.

The goddess plops down on the oversized bed, staring at the ceiling. "So you don't mind that we're sharing a bed, then?"

"Of course not. I love you," I tease.

She laughs. "I love you too."

Poseidon provided only one bed in our accommodations for our honeymoon, which means that unless one of us wants to crash on the couch, we're sharing. It shouldn't bother us-we're married, after all-but the closest either of us has been while sleeping is that time we went camping and Viridi fell asleep on my lap. (I'll tell you that story sometime-it's quite interesting.)

"Look, I'm pooped. I'm gonna go change into my pajamas," I yawn, walking to the bathroom. I pull off my toga and replace it with a pair of classic blue striped PJ's, complete with buttons.

"Finally, you wear the pants in the relationship," Vri jokes behind me.

"Ha ha. Your turn," I flatline, leaving the door ajar for her to enter the toilet. She comes out a few minutes later in a pale green nightgown. A slightly sheer pale green nightgown.

I am the luckiest angel in the world.

She snuggles underneath the covers and I curl up next to her. "Good night kiss?" I ask, puckering.

She puckers back and I give her a smooch, but as I start to pull away, she grabs the back of my head and keeps me down. Startled, I bite her lip, yet she doesn't push me off. I'm encouraged by this and place my hands on her bare shoulders, rubbing them so that they may warm up. A small coo escapes from Viridi, and I gently part lips with her.

She looks crestfallen, but then I give her a kiss on her cheek, her nose, her forehead, her neck. Little kisses all over her face. She shivers with what I assume is pleasure. Her legs intertwine with mine underneath the sheets, and she strokes my chest, fingering the buttons. I continue my barrage of pecks and the world is swimming. It's like my body knows I'm about to venture into uncharted territory but my brain hasn't caught up to reality yet. I can smell her- freshly cut grass and flowers in bloom and the ocean and it's the best smell in the world, I wanna make a candle from it, if it ever leaves my nose I might just die.

I rub her shoulders harder, more forcefully, and then I knock the straps of her nightgown onto her forearms. Bare skin is revealed to me, going just down enough on her chest for me to see something wonderful and wrong. I stop at the sight of it and back off. Viridi shows no emotion, before leaning over and touching my chest again. She messes with the top button and undoes it.

And I'm back in full force, kissing every inch of her head and shoulders, and she's unbuttoning my shirt and fabric is flying everywhere and I'm feeling hard, so hard, it's so hard to not rip into her like floor ice cream and I'm going crazy and she's kissing my wings and we're moaning and sighing and she pushes me on my back and I'm stroking her butt and I'm topless and she's lifting her hem and she's wearing pink panties and I'm tugging on my waistband and-

Stop.

We freeze, me half- naked, her on the verge of flashing me. We don't move.

"I- I'm... not ready," she whispers. "I know we're married, I know that we should but-"

I nod. "I won't push you if you don't push me. This... this was enough. For tonight." I sit back up and pull my shirt over my head. She yanks her nightgown back over her bottom, removing her underwear from my sight. I fluff out my wings as she straightens her hair.

Her eyes are dripping with tears, and I can't figure out why. "I'm sorry, Pitty."

I lean over and hug her, holding her close. "Don't be. I'm the one who went to far. And I didn't want to. Vri, let's just... let's just sleep, OK?" I stroke the back of her head, just cuddling with her, and I'm happy that she hasn't killed me yet.

Her returned embrace is all the answer I need. "Pit?" she whispers.

"Yeah?" We lie down against the pillows, exhausted, facing each other.

Her voice is soft in my ears. "Keep holding me like this as I fall asleep, please?" A tiny brush of her lips on my temple makes me sigh. I place my forehead against hers and wrap my arms around her body, careful not to touch anything that might start another attack.

"Always."

End Chapter 3

* * *

Look, I'm sorry I can't write anything dirty. But remember, my MOTHER reads this stuff for me. She actually told me that if things ever got steamier in my stories before I'm a legal adult living on my own, I'd be grounded for life. Besides, writing actually sex would make me retch. The idea is so unappealing to me.

Still, leave a review, flames help create Burning Palms, and I'll see you soon with the conclusion!


	4. Chapter 4: In Which Stuff Hits the Fan

Not much to say here... Konpeki Rei is back as my beta reader, so many thanks to him, and I don't own Kid Icarus. Short chapter this time, but it's worth it.

Oh yeah, now I remember. Do you recall how I said this was the last story in the Second Series? You do? Good. Just hang on to that thought.

And now, our exciting conclusion.

* * *

Chapter 4

In Which Stuff Hits the Fan

"That was probably the best week of my life," Viridi sighs, packing up her suitcase. She pushes on the lid forcefully, but it refuses to stay shut. I wonder how she got it closed the first time.

"_Probably__?_ That's all that our honeymoon gets? _**Probably**__**?**_" I ask incredulously.

She laughs. "All right, it was, no doubt about it, the best week of my life." She slams the top again, only to have it spring up and spit out one of her bras at her. She removes it from her face and growls.

"Thank you. Geez, you never give me enough credit..." I then sit myself on top of the offending container, allowing her to lock it without swearing. She nods her approval, then tackles (and I mean that literally) her toiletries bag.

Obviously, we've finished our week-long getaway from the world. And before you ask, no. We did not do anymore than what you previously heard about.

Why are all people perverts?

But, more to the point, this is what we _did_ swam, we explored tide pools, we snuggled, we lit a bonfire, we roasted weenies (tofu for Vri), we drank smoothies, we got sand in our hair, we laughed, we smiled, and we had, as you already know, the best week of our lives.

I could actually see us staying here for the rest of our lives, but the world needs its Goddess of Nature, and somebody needs to protect Skyworld- and it sure isn't going to be the Centurions.

So, despite all our fun, we must return to our mundane lives of decimating humans and then rescuing them from ourselves. I'm going to continue living with Lady Palutena- you never know when duty calls- and my wife's still in charge of her forces, so she has to stay in her Temple. I guess the only difference between now and back then is that nowadays we're married.

"So what exactly are these things?" Viridi calls to me. I turn around and see her brandishing the laurel crowns Palutena gave us as wedding gifts.

I shrug. "Dunno. Wanna find out?"

"Sure!" She places the one labeled "Viridi" on her head, and she immediately begins floating in mid- air.

"WHAT THE HECK? GET ME DOWN!" she yells, kicking her legs and flailing in general. I grab her hand, but her anti- gravity refuses to be fixed.

"Toss me the crown!" I tell her. She does so, and I barely catch her as she falls. I study the crown in my hands. "Huh. It seems to imbued with some kind of godly power. I think it's a Lightweight spell! It's make you less heavy!"

She scowls. "Great. Tell the Goddess of Light that if she thinks I'm fat, then just suggest I join Weight Watchers."

"No, no, look- my crown has some sort of flight power. I think it extends my flight time!" I cheer. "Finally! No more five- minute flights! Thank you technology that has came to be since Uprisingcame out!"

Viridi hops out of my arms. "Then, our crowns are designed to let you carry me while you fly?"

I nod excitedly. "Isn't this great? I've always wanted to take you flying! Yahoo! Fist pump!" I jump up and down, my wings bristling with excitement.

Vri just chuckles. "Ah, Pitty, you're such a kid... but that's what I love about you," she adds, kissing my cheek. I pluck the crown from the floor (it fell there during my celebration) and place it gently on her skull.

"Do your light- beam thing and send our luggage home, we're taking the scenic route!" I command, I switch my normal laurel with the new one, pull Viridi into my arms, run out the door, and take off. My wings unfurl and the wind rushes past my cheeks, blowing my hair. I live for this feeling, and it's even better with Vri's companionship. Holding her bridal-style, she grabs my toga, biting her lip. I look at her with concern. "You OK?"

She gasps, "Yeah, but flying- it's a little dangerous, isn't it? What if you drop me?"

I kiss her head. "I won't drop you. And even if I did, I would catch you. I could never let you get hurt," I remind her.

She blushes. "Well, I suppose this is a lot of fun..."

"You want fun? This is fun!" I pull into a steep dive, then pull up just before crashing into a cloud.

"Whee!" Viridi laughs. "Do another!"

I grin. "I'll do even better!" I give her a loop-de-loop, a corkscrew, a barrel roll, and another dive, going down so far as to allow Viridi to drag her fingers across the blue ocean waters. Dolphins splash around us. It's like a scene from a movie.

"This is... beautiful. I love you, Pit," Viridi sighs.

"I love you, too."

"Aw, how sweet. Now tell me, why didn't you two invite me to your wedding? Don't tell me you forgot about me."

Wait... what? That wasn't Viridi's voice. Heck, it wasn't even a girl's. In fact, it kinda sounded like...

"Rosebud, I'm loving the new look. Pitty Pat is one lucky angel." There's something sinister in those words, despite the actually meaning.

Viridi is looking behind me in horror. Her mouth is flapping up and down, trying to say something, but the shock of whatever it is she's seeing is preventing speech.

No. No no no no NO. It can not be him...

"So, Pitty, you can fly much better than the last time we talked. When was that?... A hundred years ago? My, how time breezes by. You've grown so much." Chills run down my spine. I twist my head just enough to look behind my shoulders. I gape, then scream a single word at the same time as Viridi.

"_**HADES**__**?**_"

The End

* * *

Me: *brushing off hands* Well, that's it! No more Second Series!

Fans: *bawling* NOOOOOO! THAT'S NOT FAIR!

Me: Suck it up.

...

Just kidding! I'm just trolling you guys. Yes, due to popular demand, another SS story is in the works, tentatively titled "Second Beginnings." And yes, it will answer the cliffhanger of Hades' appearance. But seriously, after that I'll have to focus on school and stuff- I won't have time to write. I'll upload a few quickie ficies that I jammed out over the summer, but that's it.

And finally, thank you to all my readers for your support. The reviews, the faves, the messages... all of it. I do this (mostly) for you (and partly for my own enjoyment). You guys rock.


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